I have character defects and I'm not afraid to use them.

Sure, you can write whatever the hell you want on your...

Tell me all about your religious and political views....

Let's go spend a day at the beach checking our email.

I don't care what ya say bitch, I know I put the Grrrr in...

To the mothers that still cook on Mother's Day, I salute you...

Can I skip working and just go straight to the part where...

Not sure if I've told you lately, but you're fan-FUCKIN-tastic!

Great minds think alike, but dirty minds work together.

I'm smiling on the outside cause I have a rainbow of pills...